Negative Capability & Sushi

The scriptures define it as faith, the world defines it as mystery, John Keats described it as Negative Capability; all speculation on accepting the unknown. Even as a people who are constantly searching for answers and constantly pushing the limits of research and experimentation, we are aware that there are some things that we will never fully understand or correctly interpret in this life. The power behind having that faith, accepting that mystery, or nurturing that Negative Capability, is being in a state of intentional open-mindedness. "Great people have the ability to accept that not everything can be resolved."-Keats

I have always had a theory, but recently I heard it put into words by another and I adopt it wholeheartedly: As members of a church where we know that there is no other faith that is more true than what we have, we tend to apply that same stance of rightness in every other aspect of our lives; thus projecting onto everyone else our feelings of what we think is the one right way to do things. They call this the Ophelia Syndrome (a Shakespearian reference); falling for the misconception that there is only one interpretation of everything in the world.

You may have found something in life that makes you feel more happy, healthy, or productive, but that doesn't mean that another individual will find the same fulfillment or satisfaction in that endeavor. Humans have been entrusted with the great capacity to think and act for themselves. Who are we to deprive them of that right? Covey had it right when he said- seek first to understand, then to be understood. Before you try to convince someone to understand your great reasoning for living a certain way or acting a certain way, try to understand the way they live and act and their reasons behind it. It will create a strength within relationships you never thought possible.

Occasionally we become so proud of the great advice we think we can give and become too eager to share it that we hand it out like a free sample of sushi at Costco. But sushi is an acquired taste; some worship it, others despise it. We cannot think that our advice will hold the same weight or value among different people. Seek to only give advice when it is solicited, do not be constantly waiting for an opportunity to speak, practice empathetic listening and think deeply about what the other person needs to hear, and not what you want to tell them.

"If you are not influenced by my uniqueness, I will not be influenced by your advice."